Wednesday, January 23, 2013

It Was a Very "Princess Diaries" Day + a Little Bit of "Notebook"

Ok I hate to break it to everyone... this post has nothing to do with any of the romantic parts from either of those two movies. It has to do with cars.

Did you know that automatic transmissions were first put into cars by General Motors in 1940? The first car to have one was an Oldsmobile. That means for the last 70 years people have been driving without a clutch. We as human beings have evolved away from this just like we have evolved from living in caves and catching our food with spears. So why anyone would purposefully buy a car with a manual transmission is beyond me. And yet the husband is one of those people. I guess he is just less evolved than the rest of us. Awesome... I married a caveman.

Well when the caveman and I got engaged, he decided that it was SO important that I learned how to drive his car so the "lessons" began. They looked a little like this... 

Soon the caveman, ok I'll stop calling him that, I do love him very much I'm still just a little bitter... Soon the husband and I stopped our lessons. I think it was just better for our relationship that I stayed away from his precious car. Did you know when he asked my grandparents for their permission to marry me one of the conditions was that he would always make sure I had an automatic transmission car to drive? And they weren't joking. They saw the affect the "lessons" had on us.

I thought I had won that battle... But the husband hadn't given up... Once he had me locked in with marriage the battle started again... 

H: Hey honey, I'm taking your car today and you get mine. Good luck. *smirk*
W: Oh ok. Oh yeah babe, this is probably the BEST idea you have ever had. Let's send the girl who still has no idea how to drive stick in my car alone all day. I'm sure everything will be just fine. While we're at it, let's just throw her in a pool of sharks. She can't swim either so if she doesn't die driving the car, the sharks will get her. Great... my husband is trying to kill me. That is his goal today. Maybe I should have ended up being pregnant last week, he wouldn't have risked the life of his unborn child! You smirk now... but we'll see what your face looks like when you come home and your car is totaled.

As I pull up to Gus's house, I stop the car, pull up the E brake and turn the engine off. I grabbed my bag, and headed up the stairs to her apartment. As I'm heading up the second flight of stairs I turned around to lock the car and I see the husbands car rolling backwards down the parking lot.

Yeah... I'm pretty sure that is a pretty good representation of what happened. But really... imagine this scene but instead of being in the car I was chasing the car down said hill. All while two Asians sat on the side laughing at me... Really? What happened to cultural loyalty? Aren't we Asians supposed to stick together like sticky rice? Apparently not today... So I catch up with the car, jump in and stop it. Then I call the husband...

W: I almost just wrecked your car!
H: Oh... is it ok?
W: he is WAAAAY too calm about this... Yeah, it's fine
H: Ok, What happened? 
W: (review story) Give me my car back!
H: You probably didn't have the E brake up all the way. But ok you  can have your car back.
W: He is still too calm... He's probably actually freaking out inside. Well serves him right. So no, he gave me his car... I'm going to drive his car and if it gets ruined in the process... It sucks to be him. Actually I think I'm ok.
H: Are you sure? You can have your car back.
W: Nope I'm good. I'm also a stubborn brat most days... He knows what he married... 

As we leave Gus's house... the car now doesn't start... *call husband* 
H: The clutch probably isn't all the way down.
W: No it's touching the floor
H: Yeah... if the second mat is under the clutch it won't go all the way down.
W: Then why do you double mat your car? Are you really that concerned that one mat won't be enough? Or is it that the first mat will get dirty so you have a second mat to protect the first one? It's like those people who vacuum the vacuum. 

So the rest of my day continued. And I have to say I was doing pretty well. Until... I had to take Gus home. She lives half way up a hill. And there is a light in the middle of that hill. For you Provoites, she lives in the middle of State St. (one of the busiest streets in town) And... it was the middle of rush hour. I pull up to the light in the middle of the incline and the light is red... It turns green and... I stall. Then I stall again. And again. AND again. Yep... I just stalled through an entire light as probably 30 cars passed me... 

This is how I looked...

This is what I felt like doing... 

The light turned green again and I completely burned out the husbands tires and clutch but... I got through the light. I got Gus home and I headed home to Springville. I made a vow... if I stalled one more time I was pulling over and I wasn't going to move until the husband got off work and came to get me. I think God knew that I wasn't bluffing because as I headed home every light miraculously turned green. 

The husband now knows better than to just throw me out of the nest when it comes to his car... Because trust me, he definitely wasn't smirking when he got home. 

1 comment:

  1. That's quite an experience for you. Good thing your car wasn't damaged and you're not in it when it happened. It's really not easy to drive a manual, especially when you're driving an automatic most of the time. Anyhow, I think your car really did listen to you. Maybe it was scared to be towed away if it had stalled one more time. Jae Gunderson @