Sunday, February 24, 2013

Too Cheesy for Facebook

You know when you read that facebook status and you kind of want to gag because of how cheesy it is? I was sincerely considering posting one of those until I decided this place was better suited for it. Because this is the place with no rules, no expectations, no judgements. It isn't forced onto a timeline, if chosen it can be read or it can be ignored. 

What the status would have been: I love the husband, he is the most amazing husband in the world! I'm so lucky to have found my best friend in life and I don't know what I did to ever deserve that. 

What that status really meant: Today is one of the first times I think I have honestly seen and appreciated my husband for the amazing person he is. Don't get me wrong, I've loved him for a long time now and have always thought he was amazing but it wasn't until today that I realized how amazing. And how lucky I was to find him for me. Those that know my husband know that he is often times very quite, my favorite word to describe him is stoic because his natural disposition is very straight faced, and he can be awkward at times. What most people don't know is that he is my best friend. He wants nothing but happiness for me. He sees things in me that I can't see in myself and doesn't stop telling me until I believe him. He makes me laugh more that anyone I've ever known. He holds me when I am crying even when he hasn't figured how why I am crying (like today). He encourages me to be brave and pursue what I really want rather than I what I think I should want or what I think he wants. He tells me he will support me in anything and I believe him. He tells me it's ok to not have a plan even if it goes against everything I know. He sees a beautiful person standing in front of him even when I'm feeling the ugliest. He tries to tell me he's the lucky one even though I know that's really me. He doesn't always understand but he always accepts. He usually let's me win even when I shouldn't. He calls me out when necessary without making me feel down. He it always trying to be a better person and learn from mistakes and encourages me to do the same. 

This weekend I received a letter from one of my best friends and it had a poem in it titled Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson. And it was something I really needed to hear. 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
 Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 
It is our light, not our darkness
 that most frightens us.

 We ask ourselves, 
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
 Actually, who are you not to be?
 You are a child of God.

 Your playing small 
does not serve the world. 
 There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, 
as children do.
 We were born to make manifest 
the glory of God that is within us.

 It's not just in some of us; 
it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
 we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. 
As we are liberated from our own fear,
 our presence automatically liberates others. 

When we got engaged I went through a period of time where I was in denial that anything in my life was really going to change, I was just going to be married. Then I realized that so much was going to change. I had made plans, long term single person plans and those plans were no longer in affect. So until now I've gone along trying to figure out a new plan and so much of the time feeling lost, scared, discouraged and sometimes like a failure. I'm finally starting to realize it's no longer my plan, is our plan. The husband and my plan. It's not his plan and my plan and hoping that they work together. It's figuring it out together. I'm finding that I can ask for his help in figuring it out and it's alright if it is 100% different than what I had planned before. It doesn't make it wrong, or weak or something to not be proud of. It just makes it a different plan. A married person plan. An "our" plan. A plan that includes standing out and being amazing. Not just accepting and settling. Life is going to be so perfect and finally I'm happy again.

But really: I love the husband, he is the most amazing husband in the world! I'm so lucky to have found my best friend in life and I don't know what I did to ever deserve that.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Temple Pictures

Ok, I'm working on some posts of the happenings in our lives lately but until those are done enjoy some pictures done by the lovely Travis Richardson on our wedding day at the temple. I'm going to post pictures with our families later one.

So quick side story about getting to this point in the pictures. So after the husband and I were married we were getting changed and our parents and everyone went outside to greet us. Our temple worker escorts were also no where to be found. So we walked out and walked out the wrong door to the wrong family. It was finally another couple's family who guided us to the right door. Oops...

We seriously had the best bridal party. A: They are all so attractive right? B: They were so much help! (pictures to show later) But it was so cold standing out there taking pictures and they helped keep us warm and hold umbrellas ect. From left to right (nicknames used in blog in parentheses), Heatherlynn, (Squirrel) Cortney, Jensen (Jordyn), Melissa (Gus), Cali, Me (Bennett), Sterling (The Husband), Alex, Zach, Carlos, Andrew, and Sawyer (TheBrother-in-law)


We were so excited when we woke that morning and it was snowing. It was so incredibly cold (and I ended up getting sick for our whole honeymoon) but the pictures Travis got in the snow were perfect. It was honestly exactly what we wanted. Can I say again how amazing Travis is? 

And for your viewing pleasure, some behind the scenes pictures.
1. I told you our bridal party was the best. They were constantly holding my dress, umbrellas, putting their coats over us to keeps us warm. Seriously the best friends we could ask for. 
2. So there was also some wind that day. And once I put my veil in the wind kept catching it and pulling me backwards. To the point that I thought my mom was pulling back on the veil. 
3. I just love this picture because it is exactly what was going on all day in pictures. There would be people holding umbrellas, the dress, or the veil and Travis would count and they would all run like mad or duck behind us. It had us laughing all day.

I am so grateful we have so many amazing pictures to help us remember our amazing wedding day.

Monday, February 4, 2013

The Following

Ok, let's talk about Kevin Bacon.


Who can't help but love him? I think my love for him started in High School, it was something that Gus and I shared back then, we even bought "kevin bacon sweaters". Footloose, X-men First Class, Crazy Stupid Love... yeah... can't beat a good movie with Kevin Bacon in it. Plus, aging well? He's the definition of that. Have I established that I am a big Kevin Bacon fan? 

So... he stars in a new show on Fox called "The Following". The show is about a seriously insane serial killer in jail who has developed a following of people on the outside to do his biding, a cult in a sense. It's full of girls dying, kidnapping, and... Kevin Bacon, the ex FBI agent who caught the serial killer in the first place and is brought back to help stop him. Which is why I had to watch it. The husband and I watched the first episode together and by the end of the pilot I was in the corner of the couch in the fetal position hiding behind his arm. I'm a little bit of a light weight when it comes to scary movies and shows. E.T. still freaks me out.  

Yeah... But even if I was terrified out of my mind I couldn't ditch out on Kevin. I had to be strong for him. So the husband was recruited to watch this show with me. And I have to say watching it together was going pretty well. Except for one thing, if the husband and I want to watch anything together it has to be late at night after we get back from school, work and practice.

Night + Scary Show = Paranoia.

Ok, so lets take a quick break and I'm going to explain the layout of our house. Because I know you all care about our house so much. Upstairs we have our bedroom and our study, when you go downstairs your in our living room/dinning room then you turn the corner into the kitchen and around the corner from the kitchen is our bathroom. So now that we're all on the same page we can return to the main attraction.
So the husband and I continued to watch the show together before bed. Then we head upstairs to read scriptures together and go to bed. So they other week we were doing our nightly routine, I climb into bed, the husband asleep and all of a sudden I really had to pee. tmi? Well... I did. I climbed out of bed and started to walk down the stairs. 

As my foot hit the first step... That episode was really good tonight, the way that guy was just blending in with the furniture then jumped out at that girl was so creepy. 
Second stair... We have a lot of furniture... and there aren't any lights on down there. 
Third stair... If I RUN I can make it to the bathroom in approximately five seconds and lock the door behind me. But if I walk slowly, maybe the serial killer won't notice me... 
RUN! and... tumble down the last four stairs.
But I am up like a ninja and I start to scan the dark room, my back to the stairs, reading the shadows. I swear that one by the door is moving, it looks like it's wearing a jacket. One step closer... It's tall... and it's our coat rack. 
I exhale and start to laugh at myself when I hear a breathe behind me and the serial killer grabs my shoulder. 
Elbow jab back into the killers stomach and a "loud" scream I jump back and turn around with my fists up.
Whoa, what the *heck* Nicole? (Squirrel we edited it just for you)
Oh hi. What are you doing down here? 
I heard you go flying down the stairs and wanted to make sure you weren't dead. What happened?
I thought you were a follower and you were going to kill me and cut my eyes out. The only positive being would be that K.B. would show up to solve my murder or had I somehow survived he would have interviewed me about you. Is it bad that I'm slightly disappointed that you're not? But if I tell you any of that you won't let me watch the show anymore and I need my K.B. time, so the answer is... Nothing, you just surprised me.
Ok... well don't want to meet you in a dark alley.  

The husband went back upstairs and I finally made it to the restroom (which I'm surprised nothing happened or slipped while I was attacking the husband, there was a lot of adrenaline flowing). Then I karate kicked the jacket hanging on the coat rack on my way back upstairs. And I made the decision that I'm going to take boxing classes.

But I do still highly recommend the following, just don't watch it at night. Unless you have a cute husband that will watch it with you and act as a punching bag later.