Too Cheesy for Facebook

You know when you read that facebook status and you kind of want to gag because of how cheesy it is? I was sincerely considering posting one of those until I decided this place was better suited for it. Because this is the place with no rules, no expectations, no judgements. It isn't forced onto a timeline, if chosen it can be read or it can be ignored. 

What the status would have been: I love the husband, he is the most amazing husband in the world! I'm so lucky to have found my best friend in life and I don't know what I did to ever deserve that. 

What that status really meant: Today is one of the first times I think I have honestly seen and appreciated my husband for the amazing person he is. Don't get me wrong, I've loved him for a long time now and have always thought he was amazing but it wasn't until today that I realized how amazing. And how lucky I was to find him for me. Those that know my husband know that he is often times very quite, my favorite word to describe him is stoic because his natural disposition is very straight faced, and he can be awkward at times. What most people don't know is that he is my best friend. He wants nothing but happiness for me. He sees things in me that I can't see in myself and doesn't stop telling me until I believe him. He makes me laugh more that anyone I've ever known. He holds me when I am crying even when he hasn't figured how why I am crying (like today). He encourages me to be brave and pursue what I really want rather than I what I think I should want or what I think he wants. He tells me he will support me in anything and I believe him. He tells me it's ok to not have a plan even if it goes against everything I know. He sees a beautiful person standing in front of him even when I'm feeling the ugliest. He tries to tell me he's the lucky one even though I know that's really me. He doesn't always understand but he always accepts. He usually let's me win even when I shouldn't. He calls me out when necessary without making me feel down. He it always trying to be a better person and learn from mistakes and encourages me to do the same. 

This weekend I received a letter from one of my best friends and it had a poem in it titled Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson. And it was something I really needed to hear. 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

 Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our light, not our darkness

 that most frightens us.

 We ask ourselves, 

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

 Actually, who are you not to be?

 You are a child of God.

 Your playing small 

does not serve the world. 

 There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, 

as children do.

 We were born to make manifest 

the glory of God that is within us.

 It's not just in some of us; 

it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

 we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear,

 our presence automatically liberates others. 

When we got engaged I went through a period of time where I was in denial that anything in my life was really going to change, I was just going to be married. Then I realized that so much was going to change. I had made plans, long term single person plans and those plans were no longer in affect. So until now I've gone along trying to figure out a new plan and so much of the time feeling lost, scared, discouraged and sometimes like a failure. I'm finally starting to realize it's no longer my plan, is our plan. The husband and my plan. It's not his plan and my plan and hoping that they work together. It's figuring it out together. I'm finding that I can ask for his help in figuring it out and it's alright if it is 100% different than what I had planned before. It doesn't make it wrong, or weak or something to not be proud of. It just makes it a different plan. A married person plan. An "our" plan. A plan that includes standing out and being amazing. Not just accepting and settling. Life is going to be so perfect and finally I'm happy again.

But really: I love the husband, he is the most amazing husband in the world! I'm so lucky to have found my best friend in life and I don't know what I did to ever deserve that.

Temple Pictures

Ok, I'm working on some posts of the happenings in our lives lately but until those are done enjoy some pictures done by the lovely Travis Richardson on our wedding day at the temple. I'm going to post pictures with our families later one.

So quick side story about getting to this point in the pictures. So after the husband and I were married we were getting changed and our parents and everyone went outside to greet us. Our temple worker escorts were also no where to be found. So we walked out and walked out the wrong door to the wrong family. It was finally another couple's family who guided us to the right door. Oops...

We seriously had the best bridal party. A: They are all so attractive right? B: They were so much help! (pictures to show later) But it was so cold standing out there taking pictures and they helped keep us warm and hold umbrellas ect. From left to right (nicknames used in blog in parentheses), Heatherlynn, (Squirrel) Cortney, Jensen (Jordyn), Melissa (Gus), Cali, Me (Bennett), Sterling (The Husband), Alex, Zach, Carlos, Andrew, and Sawyer (TheBrother-in-law)

 

We were so excited when we woke that morning and it was snowing. It was so incredibly cold (and I ended up getting sick for our whole honeymoon) but the pictures Travis got in the snow were perfect. It was honestly exactly what we wanted. Can I say again how amazing Travis is? 

And for your viewing pleasure, some behind the scenes pictures.

1. I told you our bridal party was the best. They were constantly holding my dress, umbrellas, putting their coats over us to keeps us warm. Seriously the best friends we could ask for. 

2. So there was also some wind that day. And once I put my veil in the wind kept catching it and pulling me backwards. To the point that I thought my mom was pulling back on the veil. 

3. I just love this picture because it is exactly what was going on all day in pictures. There would be people holding umbrellas, the dress, or the veil and Travis would count and they would all run like mad or duck behind us. It had us laughing all day.

I am so grateful we have so many amazing pictures to help us remember our amazing wedding day.

The Following

Ok, let's talk about Kevin Bacon.

 

Who can't help but love him? I think my love for him started in High School, it was something that Gus and I shared back then, we even bought "kevin bacon sweaters". Footloose, X-men First Class, Crazy Stupid Love... yeah... can't beat a good movie with Kevin Bacon in it. Plus, aging well? He's the definition of that. Have I established that I am a big Kevin Bacon fan? 

So... he stars in a new show on Fox called "The Following". The show is about a seriously insane serial killer in jail who has developed a following of people on the outside to do his biding, a cult in a sense. It's full of girls dying, kidnapping, and... Kevin Bacon, the ex FBI agent who caught the serial killer in the first place and is brought back to help stop him. Which is why I had to watch it. The husband and I watched the first episode together and by the end of the pilot I was in the corner of the couch in the fetal position hiding behind his arm. I'm a little bit of a light weight when it comes to scary movies and shows. E.T. still freaks me out.  

Yeah... But even if I was terrified out of my mind I couldn't ditch out on Kevin. I had to be strong for him. So the husband was recruited to watch this show with me. And I have to say watching it together was going pretty well. Except for one thing, if the husband and I want to watch anything together it has to be late at night after we get back from school, work and practice.

Night + Scary Show = Paranoia.

Ok, so lets take a quick break and I'm going to explain the layout of our house. Because I know you all care about our house so much. Upstairs we have our bedroom and our study, when you go downstairs your in our living room/dinning room then you turn the corner into the kitchen and around the corner from the kitchen is our bathroom. So now that we're all on the same page we can return to the main attraction.

So the husband and I continued to watch the show together before bed. Then we head upstairs to read scriptures together and go to bed. So they other week we were doing our nightly routine, I climb into bed, the husband asleep and all of a sudden I really had to pee. tmi? Well... I did. I climbed out of bed and started to walk down the stairs. 

As my foot hit the first step... That episode was really good tonight, the way that guy was just blending in with the furniture then jumped out at that girl was so creepy. 
Second stair... We have a lot of furniture... and there aren't any lights on down there. 
Third stair... If I RUN I can make it to the bathroom in approximately five seconds and lock the door behind me. But if I walk slowly, maybe the serial killer won't notice me... 
RUN! and... tumble down the last four stairs.
But I am up like a ninja and I start to scan the dark room, my back to the stairs, reading the shadows. I swear that one by the door is moving, it looks like it's wearing a jacket. One step closer... It's tall... and it's our coat rack. 
I exhale and start to laugh at myself when I hear a breathe behind me and the serial killer grabs my shoulder. 
ATTACK! 
Elbow jab back into the killers stomach and a "loud" scream I jump back and turn around with my fists up.
Whoa, what the *heck* Nicole? (Squirrel we edited it just for you)
Oh hi. What are you doing down here? 
I heard you go flying down the stairs and wanted to make sure you weren't dead. What happened?
I thought you were a follower and you were going to kill me and cut my eyes out. The only positive being would be that K.B. would show up to solve my murder or had I somehow survived he would have interviewed me about you. Is it bad that I'm slightly disappointed that you're not? But if I tell you any of that you won't let me watch the show anymore and I need my K.B. time, so the answer is... Nothing, you just surprised me.
Ok... well don't want to meet you in a dark alley.  


The husband went back upstairs and I finally made it to the restroom (which I'm surprised nothing happened or slipped while I was attacking the husband, there was a lot of adrenaline flowing). Then I karate kicked the jacket hanging on the coat rack on my way back upstairs. And I made the decision that I'm going to take boxing classes.


But I do still highly recommend the following, just don't watch it at night. Unless you have a cute husband that will watch it with you and act as a punching bag later.

Husband for Hire

So back in November when the last Twilight movie came about I had to beg the husband (then fiancé) to take me to see it. He only finally succumbed to my plea after he and the father in law decided it would be less painfully for both of them if they took the mother in law and me together. Better to not “suffer alone”. He begrudgingly admitted that it wasn’t the absolute worst movie he’d ever seen… The first movie was.

Confession, I really love the Twilight movies… Whenever I’m having a bad day, it’s either Twilight or Harry Potter that goes into the DVD player. I’m also a fan of any movie made from a Nicholas Sparks’ book. The movies are my chocolate, my guilty pleasure… judge me.

The husband can’t stand it. Anytime the emotionless face of Kirsten Stewart or the hairy, pale chest of R-Patz fills our TV screen he rolls his eyes and leaves. He glares at me as I drool over the hills and valleys of Taylor Lautner’s abs and laughs when I whisper the words along with the movie. He just doesn’t get it but he accepts it.

So now to the actual story.

Back a few weeks ago I asked the husband to run to Walmart to grab me a few things. I can’t go to Walmart during normal shopping hours anymore, the stress of dodging shopping carts, fighting the urge to take pictures of “people of Walmart”, and waiting in line behind the mom with two carts, six kids, and a binder of coupons sends me into one of two things: a full fledge anxiety attack or total “B” mode. He accepted the challenge to brave it alone.

When the husband walked into the house and he was blushing! The husband is generally pretty stoned faced, considering I’ve been trying in vain for nine months to get him to jump up and down with excitement for something (not even the day we got engaged, picture proof… I’m jumping, he’s standing) blushing was something I never thought I’d see.

Hey babe, how was the store?

Fine… I have a story for you.

My version of the husband’s story (with my lovely commentary as well of course)

So I was just walking through Walmart picking up the things that I need and a bunch of giggling teenage girls run up to me. Really? You’re not the person that I would just run up to in the middle of the store… You don’t necessarily give off that warm fuzzy feeling. Whatever… Shut up! Exhibit A… Anyway, these girls run up to me giggling and tell me that they are doing a scavenger hunt and they need a picture of someone who looks like a famous person and I look like Edward so could they get my picture. Well you are pale enough to be a vampire. Yeah, I told them though that I actually look like Carlisle not Edward, I saw them again as they were leaving and they yelled “bye Carlisle!” the whole thing was kind of embarrassing. Wait… you corrected them on which vampire you look like? Well… no it’s not that I think I look like him, it was the girls in my mission, they called me Elder Carlisle. No no no… you just admitted that you know which vampire you look like and you have an opinion on it! Is that why you’re embarrassed? Because you corrected teenage girls on which Twilight character you look like? You’re right… that is embarrassing. Then he walked out of the room with the same expression he has when I’m actually watching the movies. I don’t think the husband thinks I’m as funny as everyone else does. 

  
I guess I see the resemblance...

So that’s the husband’s deep dark secret… HE IS TOTALLY A SCHOLAR OF TWILIGHT… he’s been caught, you may all tease him mercilessly now.

And this whole ordeal gave me the best idea. The husband is going out for hire! Nothing would top off a twilight themed birthday party better than a visit from a vampire! I’ll even throw in some contacts and glitter him up for you. Valentines is coming up, why not have your flowers delivered by “Carlisle”. Want to make the movie watching experience just a little more real, have a character sit next to you and share your popcorn. I think this is going to be a huge moneymaker. It’s going to be bigger than the books themselves. So, spread the word! I haven’t run my idea past the husband but I’m sure he’s going to be all for it.  

And random thought of the day... I really really miss this weather...

It Was a Very "Princess Diaries" Day + a Little Bit of "Notebook"

Ok I hate to break it to everyone... this post has nothing to do with any of the romantic parts from either of those two movies. It has to do with cars.

Did you know that automatic transmissions were first put into cars by General Motors in 1940? The first car to have one was an Oldsmobile. That means for the last 70 years people have been driving without a clutch. We as human beings have evolved away from this just like we have evolved from living in caves and catching our food with spears. So why anyone would purposefully buy a car with a manual transmission is beyond me. And yet the husband is one of those people. I guess he is just less evolved than the rest of us. Awesome... I married a caveman.

Well when the caveman and I got engaged, he decided that it was SO important that I learned how to drive his car so the "lessons" began. They looked a little like this... 

Soon the caveman, ok I'll stop calling him that, I do love him very much I'm still just a little bitter... Soon the husband and I stopped our lessons. I think it was just better for our relationship that I stayed away from his precious car. Did you know when he asked my grandparents for their permission to marry me one of the conditions was that he would always make sure I had an automatic transmission car to drive? And they weren't joking. They saw the affect the "lessons" had on us.

I thought I had won that battle... But the husband hadn't given up... Once he had me locked in with marriage the battle started again... 

H: Hey honey, I'm taking your car today and you get mine. Good luck. *smirk*
W: Oh ok. Oh yeah babe, this is probably the BEST idea you have ever had. Let's send the girl who still has no idea how to drive stick in my car alone all day. I'm sure everything will be just fine. While we're at it, let's just throw her in a pool of sharks. She can't swim either so if she doesn't die driving the car, the sharks will get her. Great... my husband is trying to kill me. That is his goal today. Maybe I should have ended up being pregnant last week, he wouldn't have risked the life of his unborn child! You smirk now... but we'll see what your face looks like when you come home and your car is totaled.

As I pull up to Gus's house, I stop the car, pull up the E brake and turn the engine off. I grabbed my bag, and headed up the stairs to her apartment. As I'm heading up the second flight of stairs I turned around to lock the car and I see the husbands car rolling backwards down the parking lot.

Yeah... I'm pretty sure that is a pretty good representation of what happened. But really... imagine this scene but instead of being in the car I was chasing the car down said hill. All while two Asians sat on the side laughing at me... Really? What happened to cultural loyalty? Aren't we Asians supposed to stick together like sticky rice? Apparently not today... So I catch up with the car, jump in and stop it. Then I call the husband...

W: I almost just wrecked your car!
H: Oh... is it ok?
W: he is WAAAAY too calm about this... Yeah, it's fine
H: Ok, What happened? 
W: (review story) Give me my car back!
H: You probably didn't have the E brake up all the way. But ok you  can have your car back.
W: He is still too calm... He's probably actually freaking out inside. Well serves him right. So no, he gave me his car... I'm going to drive his car and if it gets ruined in the process... It sucks to be him. Actually I think I'm ok.
H: Are you sure? You can have your car back.
W: Nope I'm good. I'm also a stubborn brat most days... He knows what he married... 

As we leave Gus's house... the car now doesn't start... *call husband* 
H: The clutch probably isn't all the way down.
W: No it's touching the floor
H: Yeah... if the second mat is under the clutch it won't go all the way down.
W: Then why do you double mat your car? Are you really that concerned that one mat won't be enough? Or is it that the first mat will get dirty so you have a second mat to protect the first one? It's like those people who vacuum the vacuum. 

So the rest of my day continued. And I have to say I was doing pretty well. Until... I had to take Gus home. She lives half way up a hill. And there is a light in the middle of that hill. For you Provoites, she lives in the middle of State St. (one of the busiest streets in town) And... it was the middle of rush hour. I pull up to the light in the middle of the incline and the light is red... It turns green and... I stall. Then I stall again. And again. AND again. Yep... I just stalled through an entire light as probably 30 cars passed me... 

This is how I looked...

This is what I felt like doing... 

The light turned green again and I completely burned out the husbands tires and clutch but... I got through the light. I got Gus home and I headed home to Springville. I made a vow... if I stalled one more time I was pulling over and I wasn't going to move until the husband got off work and came to get me. I think God knew that I wasn't bluffing because as I headed home every light miraculously turned green. 

The husband now knows better than to just throw me out of the nest when it comes to his car... Because trust me, he definitely wasn't smirking when he got home. 

That One Day I was Pregnant

First off, today is the husband and my one month anniversary! I seriously can't believe that it has been a month... So much has happened. Like last weekend when I was pregnant for a day.

We had made it through our first week of classes... 4 hours until freedom and my phone starts ringing during class. Unknown number. And... they leave a voice mail, I DESPISE voice mails. I listen and oh awesome the lady doctor called me to let me know that my birth control has been recalled. It turns out that if it was produced in one cycle it stops working after 2 months. "now we're not exactly sure if yours was in that batch but we wanted to let you know so that you can be *giggle* careful. We'll call to confirm the situation tomorrow" I do the math in my head, I got mine in September... and I got married in December. Well at this point I think it's a little too late to be careful...

After 10 minutes of attempting to not pass out or throw up... I mean at this point I'm for sure getting kicked off team and I'm going to get so fat... Well babies are kind of cute right, when they get past the over sized head stage and they're not crying and stuff. I guess I could do the whole baby thing. And If I'm pregnant right now I get to join my other twenty friends that announced their pregnancies this month. We can go through this process together sharing our progress, questions, and concerns on facebook and instagram. And now that there's no point to pinning wedding ideas I get to use pinterest for my baby needs!

At this point the husband is at work and there is no way I'm telling him that we're going to have a baby over text. So next I do the most normal thing I can think of I google "signs and symptoms of pregnancy" 

• Moodiness and Unstable Emotions- check, husband can most definitely verify
• Cravings- I totally ate like four rolls at Texas Roadhouse the other day and I hate bread
• Nausea- Well I'm feeling completely nauseous right now at the thought of being pregnant does that count? 
• Backaches- My back totally hurts. I don’t care if we did lifts all day in team today there is no way my back should be this sore.
• Fatigue- That explains why I was falling asleep in New Testament today…
  

OH MY GOSH I am totally pregnant. 

Well there’s nothing I can do about it at this point because again there is no way I’m telling the husband. So I might as well continue on with my day. I headed over to Gus’s birthday dinner at Outback. The smell of the bread is so amazing “But you hate bread… here are those cravings again” I think if I eat this chicken in front of me I’m going to puke “Food aversions, I’m pretty sure that was on the list too” I’m pretty sure I just felt something move inside me “Ok you’re not Bella and this isn’t twilight there’s not some vampire baby growing inside you there is no way that you just felt something move” I really have to pee. Ok I may not be having a vampire but peeing was definitely on the google list!

Later that night I tell the husband that I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant. He laughs and tells me I’m crazy. Then I start listing off my symptoms… and I get him convinced. Let’s run to the grocery store and we’ll stop at Walgreens on the way home and pick up a test. Oh a test... good idea honey

Walking through the aisles I can see the wheels running full speed through the husbands head. I can just imagine what he’s thinking, how are we going to afford a baby? Does this mean that neither of us are going to Blackpool? we haven’t even been married a month! Hey honey can I grab a jar of pickles? I’m pretty sure if I had picked up that jar of pickles he was going to throw them at my head. 

And now we are finally at Walgreens... standing infront of about twenty different tests. We pick a box that has three inside I mean what if it's wrong the first time. And we head to check out. There stands a cute old lady ready to check us out. Oh... are you hoping? *wink* And in his perfect awkwardness the husband answers well we're hoping for something... That is the point where I die laughing and start bawling... There we go with the unstable emotions again.

I'll spare you from the details of the rest of the night. But I don't think I've ever seen such a look of relief on someones face as I did on the husbands when it was negative. But it was kind of fun being pregnant for a day.

So hey honey... if you're reading this... sorry i didn't tell you that my birth control got recalled... you just looked so scared before I got to that part I couldn't bare to tell you. But no worries now right? 

Bridals (Photo OVERLOAD!)

Like I said earlier, we took our bridals in November so we would have pictures for the reception and as insurance for if there was some crazy blizzard on the wedding day (it did snow on our wedding day but it was pretty picture snow). Of course because we were taking these to avoid weather problems we happened to do them on one of the windiest days of the year in Utah. But we love love love how they turned out! So here is a huge picture overload of our favorites...